What Happens When Your Love Gets Old?

I've never been married unless you count the relationship I have either sex toys or my computer as a marriage, but I have friends who are or who have been in long term relationships. I can put them into two catagories. The ones who say that their sexual activity decreased after a few years of being together and the rest who are lying to me in the hopes that I'll take the bait and settle down. Sure, there are some couples who are just as sexually active today as they were the day they met, but I'm pretty sure that they're the very lucky exceptions.

It seems like all the advice people are always saying to keep the relationship fresh and try new things. I think thats important too, after all if you are always doing the same thing, it gets really super boring. Seriously! Even if that thing is really edgy and kinky like bondage play for example, if thats all you ever do, day in and day out without mixing it up a little, its going to get old after a while. So that sounds pretty easy right? Hey, lets just do something new tonight! Problem solved, call off the alarms, nothing to see here, right? Maybe not.

First, it takes creativity to keep thinking of new things. And its not just enough to know what your fantasies are, you have to come up with reasonable ways of exploring them! If thats not hard enough, you have to get someone else on board as well and their level of enthusiasm for it may range from woo woo to absolutely not. Somewhere in the middle is usually where you land and if the other person has landed on "it doesn't really interest me but I'll do it if it makes you happy", well how happy is that really going to make you? I mean sure you get to explore that fantasy which is always exciting but isn't the point of being in that relationship because you want to see that other person happy and you want for them to get enjoyment out of the things you enjoy too as you share them? You know, so that if you're sharing things you enjoy but its a burden or obligation to that other person, well that takes some of the fun out of it.

So lets assume you and the other person actually came up with a nice list of things that you both agree that you want to try together. Good for you! But you're not getting out of it that easily! There's another obstacle to overcome. You have to actually go and do it! I said I was never married thats true, but I have been in a lot of relationships and some were longer than others. Granted, my relationships might not be the best stick to compare to, I'm a pretty wild girl, but still, I know that you get into a rut of behavior and its hard to get out of it. People get tired or stressed and they just don't want to put in the effort. If the guy or girl gets horny, maybe they'll put in just enough effort to get themselves off sure but otherwise forget it. So sure it takes a lot of effort and willingness to overcome the stress or fatigue or desire just go watch the game and spend a little more time exchanging all kinds of bodily fluids.

This brings us to a friend of mine who recently asked me to help her. Apparently her husband liked to see her dress up in fetish outfits which she was happy to do for a while but over time she was dressing up less and less and not really putting the effort into it. She was usually more tired than horny and there was another issue of she often didn't feel like initiating sex and he didn't either so with neither person really making the first move unless one was particularly horny, very little sex was going on in that house.

Luckily they had a nice open talk and acknowledged that it was something both wanted to change. So they discussed some ideas and somehow a couple of the things they came up with involved me. Before you start thinking threesome, which was where I thought they were going with it, it was actually something else. See, I love threesomes and foursomes and whatever else but I also believe that it has to be between people who are casual with each other. When you start having group sex with some of the people involved being close relationship people, only a few special relationships can really handle that over the long term. No, that wasn't it at all. So she proposed two things she wanted me to do.

The first was for me to have sex with another girl in front of her husband and her. She said they both could enjoy it and as I and another girl were getting it on, it would turn them on and they would get busy too. I love having sex with other girls as much as any other bi girl, but I had to ask the question, why not just get a lesbian porn video? Isn't that pretty much the same thing? Apparently not. First, porn videos are 2 dimensional, you get sound and sight but none of the other senses, you can't control the action or visuals at all, the stories are often pretty poor and predictable and theres no interaction. Not that they wanted to interact with me while I had a girl's pussy rubbing against my face, but apparently giving my ass a little swat or squeezing my boob from either of them would be within acceptable behavior. So this sounded like a pretty reasonable argument. After all, maybe having two hot girls go at each other on your living room floor while you and your wife watch and get horny is a truly different experience from just popping in a lesbian dvd. I had to think on that one for a while.

The next idea she had was a domination fantasy. Apparently someone has been reading my blog, much to my surprise. I assumed that maybe 3 people were reading this and 2 probably kept reading holding out hope that one day I would slip and accidently include my phone number in there somewhere. So I have a reader! Wooo! That having been said, I had a blog many months ago in which I talked about how I did a favor for a pro Mistress who had a client who wanted to be dominated at the same time as a girl. So I was that girl. Now as you know I'm generally submissive so taking a sub role is fun and easy for me, but that doesn't mean I can't switch. Well apparently this woman and her husband started talking and they started to like the idea of both being dominated together. She was a little apprehensive about it claiming that she's not lesbian and she doesn't want to lick pussy or kiss the Mistress or whatever, but basically, the husband had this fantasy just like the other guy who went to the professional Mistress that he's dominated, controlled and restrained along with a girl, only he was cool with the girl being his wife. How fun!

So that's where they figured I came in which was I could be the Mistress. The idea being, there would be no sex between them and me, just between themselves but that I would control the scene and order the sex. In other words, my role would be to bind and chain them up in different ways, humiliate them a little, have them lick my boots, force them to kiss each other, rub against each other, give each other oral sex, etc. You know, all the fun foreplay stuff that couples should be doing with each other voluntarily!! Well sometimes getting people to do the foreplay takes a little motivation. I guess its easier to do it when theres a hot Asian girl in skin tight latex and thigh high pvc boots standing over you flogging your ass than if you're just in your bed with your wife on a Wednesday night. I'm still thinking of this one. I know when I was the submissive in this kind of scene the Mistress tied up the guy's cock and ran a rope thru my pussy and later she leashed his cock and leashed my pussy by my rings and put butt plugs in us and did all kinds of other fun things, so I have a pretty good idea of how I would do it based on what she's told me.

This is where it comes down to. We have a couple who truly wants to improve their sex lives and is willing to take some pretty exciting steps to do it. We have me who loves sex and kinky stuff and probably wouldn't mind either having sex with a girl while a couple of people watch or dominating them. So I'm not sure that there's anything wrong with helping out a friend and doing one or the other or both. What I'm concerned about is I don't want to become their porn dvd. You know what I mean? Like the only time they can have sex is if I come by and we do some sort of show or scene for them and then they get dependant on that sort of interaction. This goes back to the mixing things up idea I spoke of at the beginning. Too much of a good thing can be bad. Sure, having a little live sex show on the living room floor is exciting if it happens on very rare occasions and is special and new, but like anything else, if its all you do and you don't find new ways to explore sex and new things to try, the excitement of it will diminish each time and eventually it just won't be a turn on anymore. That's my thought anyway, I hope you'll share yours!