Maliia's Thoughts on That Whole Holiday Thing

There are people I send Christmas cards to every year. I used to have a much bigger list but over the years I discovered that most of the people I sent cards to never sent me anything. I didn't send the card for something in return, but I always felt like some acknoweledgement that they even received a card from me would have been good. Even if in a phone conversation they just said something like "hey Maliia, thanks for the card". See, that would have been fine. So now I have a very small list of people I send cards to and an even smaller list of people I will give a present to. I just don't make a big deal out of the whole having to run around and shop and give gifts to people thing.

Maybe part of it is the fact that I'm not Christian so for me its just not so important to max out your credit card so you can give tons of stuff to all the people you care about, but I suspect that I probably have a much better understanding of the holiday and the season than most of those people who are filling the malls and fighting over the last Elmo doll for their bratty little four year old or shooting each other over a Playstation 3. The holiday season, and that's any of the holidays you want to throw into this mix, aren't about what you give people in terms of material items but rather in terms of your heart and love. A lot of people get confused on this point and think that their love and thought can be shown best by what they buy the person and how much they spend. It's not just their fault though, on the receiving end people are just as guilty of associating love with whether or not they got what they wanted. The truth though is that while salesmen will try to use pitches like "don't you want to give the best for your family" (who is going to say no to that one? No, I want to give my family the worst and run off to Aruba with a Playboy model with the money I save) and comercials and all the rest will try to convince you that the best way to show your love is to max out your credit card, the truth is that showing love and caring doesn't cost money, it costs time and it requires a certain level of emotional openness I suppose.

Maybe this is just the Buddhist in me, you know, we go for that whole non-materialism angle which works great for me until I see a new shiny tight latex fetish outfit I want and then it all goes out the window. And I'll be the first to tell you that if someone were to get me an outfit like that I would be totally appreciative and think that person was totally thoughtful and must really care about me. But you know, even if someone just gave me a card or spent some time talking with me, I'd still think they cared about me, and no less than if they had gotten me that fetish outfit to cover my hot little brown body.

It always amazes me how some people feel the need to be nicer during this time. They think that the Christmas season is the time when they should let things go and try to be nicer to their fellow man. I'm not the first person to say this and I'm pretty sure that the point isn't to be nicer during December, particularly in high stress situations including office Christmas parties (which fully half of office workers say they wish they didn't have to go to either for obligation or fear of doing something stupid) and of course shopping, but rather to try and be a little nicer throughout the year and more patient too. Let's face it, there's a lot of stupid people out there. By definition, half the people out there are dumber than average so we need to realize the importance of taking time to let others, even people we may not know very well, know that they deserve respect too.

So I was looking around for cards to send with a friend and my friend said that I should just get non denominational holiday cards. I thought about this but I realized that all my friends I'm sending the cards to are Christian. Christmas is their holiday, what's wrong with acknowledging that? Sure, it's inappropriate to send a Christmas card to a Jewish person but its just too watered down and lame to send some covering all the bases card to a Christian person rather than one that really wishes them to have THEIR holiday be happy you know? It's like buying a generic happy birthday card for your mother when really, you should be looking in the section that says Happy Birthday Mom. You know, mothers like to see that you put a little extra effort into making it specific to them. Not because the mom part makes a difference but because it shows you put some thought into it rather than just grabbing the first card off the rack that looked like it had a picture of a birthday cake on it. Well, to me, sending cards that acknowledge the right holiday to the right person is the same way. I guess the arguement could be made that maybe you don't know someone's religion or you don't want to risk getting it wrong or you're a company doing a mass mailing or whatever, but still, I think if you can get it right, you should make an effort to. That's the whole point of a card in the first place isn't it? To say to the other person, hey, I was thinking of you, I went and made an effort for you to show you that I care about you. That's what it should say to me at least.

I was kind of glad to see more stores and commercials acknowledging Christmas this year. Now they're more and more saying Christmas Sale and stuff. That's cool I think. 85% of Americans are Christian, it makes sense to appeal to the broader market as long as you don't alienate the other 15%. Having a nativity scene or a Christmas tree is cool to me, as long as you don't say well, we'll have this but if those Jewish guys with the cool little caps want a menorah, fuck them. I wouldn't require it, but I definately would leave the door open for the option. Of course this stuff can be taken too far too. I was in the grocery store the other day and I bought some stuff and the cashier said to me "Merry Christmas". I thought that was nice you know? I'm not Christian but that's okey, it was a nice gesture. But then her next line was stepping out of the bounds of appropriate. She said "Jesus is the reason for the season".

Now I know Jesus is the whole reason for Christmas. Never mind the fact that most historians think Jesus was probably born in March and those clever Christian marketers moved the celebration to December to coincide with the pagan holiday of Winter Solstace which is on the 21st. But there's really two kinds of Christmas holidays. There's the religious one of course which is church and Jesus and the whole faith aspect of it which is something that Christians everywhere can enjoy and really feel like an important part of. Then there's what I call the American cultural aspect. I guess it's not just American given the fact that Americans export so much culture to the rest of the world, but seriously. What the hell does Santa Claus have to do with Jesus? Nothing! Our current incarnation of Santa was invented by the Coca Cola company based on a story of a monk who would give food and clothes to poor kids. The whole sleigh, fat belly, red suit, black belt, white beard. It's all Coca Cola. And each year we have more and more cultural additions to this holiday. Rudolph the red nosed reindeer, Frosty the Snowman. Hey I love them too but what they hell do they have to do with Jesus? Nothing!

And that brings me to my point. I love the Christmas season. Not for the religious aspect and certainly not for the shopping or the false kindness that people feel obligated to show, but for the cultural part. I love the way people decorate their houses with lights. I'd never have a Christmas tree, but I love the way people take such care to make them special and I think putting presents under them is too cool. Peppermint Candy Canes totally rock, yes I love Christmas cartoons, even Rudolph and Frosty, and for me Christmas parties are a blast though unless it's a bondage party, and some are (it's fun to be tied up by a string of lights or made into a human Christmas Tree) I do have to tone down my whole fetish outlook just a pinch. I'm a huge fan of Christmas songs though like Thanksgiving turkey, I tend to load up on them in December, and by the time Christmas actually rolls around, I'm so sick of them that I don't want to hear them again for another year. So that's my outlook on this whole holiday thing. Hey, everyone looks at it a different way and that's totally fine with me. This is just how I see things. No matter how you see it though, I hope you have a great (insert name of your holiday here) and while being naughty might make Santa stay away from your house, it can have some nice fringe benefits including a spanking!