So You Want to Fuck Maliia? Here's What Not to Do.

Here's a problem I have from time to time both online and in my real life too. Every once in a while I get a person who wants to play with me or have sex with me or whatever and either they don't listen to me or they don't care. I think I've made it really clear on my website, in my blog posts and with anyone I meet as well at parties or clubs or whatever that if anything is going to happen, it's not going to happen for a while. I love bondage play and I have a great group of people I can play with. I love to fuck cocks and lick pussies but again, the ones I mess around with are usually ones I've known for a while. It's a dangerous world out there and a girl can't be to careful so sure I'm cautious when it comes to new people I don't know very well, especially when it comes to people I've met online. That doesn't mean there isn't a chance of course, I've met lots of great people online and those friendships later meant that we met up in real life and on a couple of occasions the people were really cool or very well known in the fetish scene and I felt comfortable engaging in some BDSM play with them. Let's face it, trust is probably the biggest factor about bdsm and if you don't trust completely the person you're with, you shouldn't be messing around with them. That's my feeling anyway.

The thing is, sometimes people get impatient with me as a result. I guess I can see the source of their frustration, after all, I love sex, I basically advertise that I'm a complete slut, a bondage whore and a tight little fucktoy. So I guess it makes sense that the natural conclusion would be that Maliia would jump on anyone, anytime for any reason. Believe me, the urge is there sometimes to do just that, luckily there are areas in which self control actually steps up and takes over for a little while. Hey, I don't like being denied either but sometimes its for the best. The problem is that because some people think of me as this total sexual object, they get very frustrated and dissappointed if I don't just hop right into bed with them or I don't let them chain me up and make me their slave toy on the first meeting. I've seen this. Most cool people I've met understand that it takes time to form a relationship based on trust and are willing to in the very least be my friend and let things build naturally. The best relationships I've had were those in which there was no expectation of where things were going, we were just sharing our thoughts, ideas and experiences and over time we just developed a trust and bond that ended up leading to more fun physical things. Not that it was planned that way, but it was a nice way to end up. I just don't think you can plan it that way is all I'm saying because otherwise there's a temptation to rush things or push it too fast because you're looking at the destination rather than the journey. So what ends up happening sometimes is I'll meet a guy somewhere and he'll call me and if I liked him I'll say okey, let's go out and maybe he thinks that the minute he shows up at my door I'm going to fuck him right there. Again, I know this is my own fault for having the persona of a slut, but I'm actually a very complicated girl, what can I say. I said guy by the way because whether its a real life person or online that I've met, it's almost always the guys who get impatient and lose interest if they can't have sex with me in the first meeting or two. Girls tend to be more laid back and have a very similar attitude which is that sure, sex is fun and all but we don't have to have a schedule or anything. Let's just take it as it goes and see where it leads.

The real life people I go out with and meet do tend to be a bit more patient though than the online people. I guess because with the whole form here of online, it gives you anonymity so you can treat other people in a way that you wouldn't treat them in real life. Believe me, for some of the very straight forward (as a nice way to put it) and rude and disrespectful (for the not so nice ones) emails and messages I get, I wonder if these guys (and it's almost always guys that write those kinds of "fuck me now" emails) would go up to a girl and talk to her that way. Of course I only need to walk by a car wash or construction site and hear the workers whistle and cat call at me to know that sometimes men act like a bunch of zoo animals which no concept of manners or respect whatsoever. Still, I get the feeling that a lot of these online guys probably wouldn't do that if they saw me face to face. They wouldn't go up to me and say you're hot, let's fuck now, and that's one of the nicer ways people say it too! Don't get me wrong, I like the compliment and frankly it does turn me on to know that so many people want to fuck me. I like that, but it's a double edged sword which is that of course not everyone can fuck me so some people are just going to have to go home dissapointed.

Anyway, I bring all this up because there was this one guy who had some really interesting comments at first. It seemed like he was into bondage and some of the same kinky things I was and I really liked a lot of what he had to say. Some of his ideas I wasn't crazy about and some I thought were great. The problem was, all I knew of him was from his comments and it seemed that at first he was inviting me to come to where he is, which is nice but a bit premature of course. Then after a couple of weeks the invites started to slowly turn to taunting and it kind of slid down that hill pretty fast. I guess he thought that by telling me that I'm too "chicken" to go to where he is and let him chain me up, that would get me to go there and prove that I wasn't "chicken" fake or whatever. If it's not the right time and I don't know the person well enough yet, it's not a matter of chicken or not, it's a matter of smart or not. It's wierd because unlike a lot of other people who wanted to get to know me better, this guy never sent me an email, he never shared his own experiences with me, his ideas and fantasies were never in enough detail for me to really get a feel for how much he really knew from a real life point of view. I didn't know anything about this guy, so why would I agree to meet up with him when he hasn't even put in the slightest bit of effort in letting me get to know him. I'm not saying it would have happened even if I had gotten to know him, but that's the whole point of getting to know someone, so you can decide as you go forward just how far to go. If things had gone well over a while, what probably would have happened is next time he was in Los Angeles I would have said hey, let's met up at such and such fetish club or there's a big fetish event going on this weekend, come to town and I'll hang out with you some. That's a good option too because then you're in a public place but you can see them and you get to watch how they interact with others, how they play, how they handle equipment and you can sense whether they are what they said they were in terms of their interests and experience. Of course if you don't let it get that far in getting to know each other then it will never happen.

So ultimately what happened was this guy with each comment over the course of a few weeks got more and more frustrated until he finally lost it and decided to be disrespectful and burn his bridge with me. Now I love verbal humiliation in the context of something sexual. When someone is saying to because they know it turns me on, its very hot. When someone says it out of anger or disrespect, I can tell the difference and I don't like that. So this is what I felt this guy did. He got so frustrated that he accused me of being an attention whore, which I am. I do totally get off on attention it's true. I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't right? He said that I was a fake and if I was for real then people would be posting comments that confirmed that they had a great time with me. I thought this was silly because posting detail about sexual experiences is my thing, not theirs. I never have and never will ask the people I play with for real to share anything with anyone about what we do. They're welcome to if they want, I don't mind, but I'm not going to suggest it because this is my hobby and it's what I enjoy. I'm very real and this is very much what I enjoy. I believe that the photos, videos, people I have met and reputation I have in the bdsm scene here in Los Angeles confirm the kind of girl I am and what I like. Some people just can't handle a girl like me. I'm okey with that.

I know this was kind of a long rambling post and while I totally welcome comments from people and other ways I can get to know you, when I sense that someone is getting frustrated it kind of frustrates me too because I want to make sure that everyone has a good understanding of where we're starting from and where things could go from here. Yes things can go somewhere, but it's not going to be quick, especialy if it's starting from an online relationship and it's going to take a lot of sharing and detail so we can get to know each other. The person who is patient, interesting, creative and willing to put in the time will always come out ahead with me.

So that's all I wanted to say about that really. I hope I get to continue to make lots of new fetish friends and hopefully some of those friendships will go somewhere interesting and maybe even turn into something more. Who knows. But I do know that I really enjoy sharing my thoughts and experiences here and even more, I enjoy reading yours so whether it is a criticism or something you don't like about me or my webcage or you want to compliment me or tease me a little or share ideas or fantasies about me or tell me about your latest experience, I love to hear it all and I truly do hope you'll share with me as I share with you and that way we can get to know each other better.