Maliia's List of Celebrities to Have Sex With

I'm sure you've heard of these couples who have this agreement that of course they have to be faithful to each other because they're married or in some relationship or whatever but they have some list of five celebrities and if they ever got an opportunity to have sex with one of them they could and it would be okey. Whether or not it would really be okey I don't know but I guess the thinking of each person is that the chances that the guy's wife or girlfriend will ever actually meet George Clooney is very slim and the chances that he'll hit on her and they'll go back to his suite at the local hotel to test the springs on the mattress are even slimmer. It's the same thinking I think for the girls too. They figure that they're already slumming it with this guy and there's just no way he can do better so even if he did have the chance to meet up with Angelina Jolie, let's face it, nothing is likely to happen. Of course this doesn't take into account that one of the people in the relationship is really hot, has a job in a related industry where they actually could not only meet such people but also get to know them on a personal and professional level, or that the celebrity in question will be so high, drunk or just plain horny that they'd gladly fuck the gas tank on an '87 Honda Accord if it meant no strings attached. Let's face it, we are dealing with real people here you know.

Living in L.A. and being the kind of girl I am, I've known a number of celebrity types, both big time and little time and I'm even friends with a few but I'm not a name dropper so who they are isn't important. What is important is the fact that these are people like anyone else. Most are very insecure, some are complete assholes and some are very nice but have no clue about how most people live their lives.

Nonetheless, I was talking with a friend the other day, and no we aren't in a relationship but we were just thinking about the celebrities we'd like to have sex with if the chance came up. His list was pretty predictable with Angelina Jolie, Jennifer Aniston, Eva Longoria, Scarlett Johansen, etc. Beautiful girls sure but based on what I've read in the tabloids (which are always 100% accurate of course), would you really want to be in the middle of a threesome with Angelina and Jennifer? I'm not sure about that.

I also came up with a list and I think my friend thought my list was going to be all boys and I was supposed to limit it to five as well. I'm not very good at playing by the rules though, if I were I'd probably not spend so much time in fetish outfits and fishnets dressed like a streetwalking whore, so it fits with my personality to change things up a little. I decided that since I'm bi, I should have three girls and three boys. I wanted to avoid most of the obvious boys too like Russell Crowe or George Clooney because frankly they're kind of older and I need a younger guy who can keep up with me sexually. I also didn't include Tom Cruise because he's really short and he seems kind of unbalanced. They're all unbalanced of course, but if you can't control your lack of balance in public then that's really really unbalanced. Even though Brad Pitt is in his 40's I still had to include him though because I figured even if his sexual stamina isn't what it used to be, he's still delicious. The next guy on my list was Ryan Reynolds who was in a bunch of funny movies. I like him because he's really hot, great body but also he's hillarious and makes me laugh. If we're just talking about a one night stand, I don't know how much laughing I'll be doing but it's always nice to have the option. Finally for the boys I chose Chris Evans. Chris who? I had to look him up to get his name. This was the guy who played Johnny Storm in the Fantastic Four. That's all I called him for a while, I said I'd like to fuck the Fantastic Four fire guy. It wasn't until I was writing this that I actually bothered to go figure out his name.

Now for the girls. You know, I went in a totally ethnic direction here with girls. It's not that I don't like white girls, I love them actually so I'm not sure what happened. I guess if I had five slots for the girls maybe I would have had room for Scarlett Johansen (I know I'm spelling her name wrong but its her own damn fault for having a complicated last name. Of course with a last name like Kanaulahu, I shouldn't be pointing fingers huh?) or Natalie Portman. Instead I went with Jessica Alba who I've always thought was really cute and seems to have a good public personality. I've liked watching her from back in her Dark Angel days and the only reason I ever watched that show was because I liked her outfit. There's something hot about a girl in black leather on a motorcycle. My next choice, and this isn't in any kind of order by the way, its first come first served as far as I'm concerned, is Kristin Kreuk. This is the girl who plays Lana Lang on Smallvile and several months ago I already professed a thing for Lana Lang. It wasn't really about the actress but frankly it had more to do with the character and the fact that it would have been very easy to work some nice bondage themes in with her. Still, Kristin is very cute and since I do have a thing for Asian girls, the fact that she's half Chinese works in her favor. Speaking of Chinese, for my last slot I gave it to Ziyi Zhang who used to be known as Zhang Ziyi from her Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon days but when she went Hollywood and did Memoirs of a Geisha I guess she figured out that here in the U.S. we do our last names last instead of first and so she flipped them. I still say its way too many Z's. Anyway, I think she's super cute which is nice and could be a lot of fun to be with if she were lesbian or at least bi. I understand that she's learning more English which in a way is a downside because there's something about not being able to communicate with words but rather with only physical movements and other methods that is extremely hot. There's just too much talk and not enough action as it is already.

So there you have my list so if you are any of those people and you're reading this, drop me an email and we'll go hook up. Well, tell me your fantasy about me first and that way I can come prepared. You know, if you have a fantasy about me as a ponygirl, I want to make sure I show up at your door with the bridle locked on my head and the bit in my mouth, ready to go. Of course even if you're not one of these celebrities, that's okey, too be perfectly honest, most of the bondage fun and sexual excitement in my life is from non-celebrity sources. Do you have any thoughts you want to share? Let's hear it!